Well I haven't been on here in a good bit. I seem to start and stop a lot but I've been inspired, yet again, to start keeping a journal. The reasoning behind my inevitable return was some things that have been happening at work that I felt a need to write about and gain some clarity on the situations. Maybe some others would be able to learn from what I'm experiencing as well?
Anyhow, here's the gist of what's been going on. At work my sexuality has practically become a novelty. That's MUCH better than where I was in High School, but it's still not quite where I'd like to be. Being known as "the gay guy" is not my goal. There are many constant jokes I must suffer through on a daily basis. Some are simple and harmless, others make me feel like a total joke and less of a person. A lot of the time they make out since I'm gay I must want to drop to my knees for anything with a penis, it's rather insulting. I've also had comments about someone that's underage or something like that. Luckily I had someone speak up on that portion "He's gay, not a helophile". I high fived her for knowing what a helophile was. The thing is I would personally like to be viewed as an individual more than the gay guy of a group. I have been lucky enough to find some people that have treated me with that respect. One being the awesome night shift cook. He is all kinds of special in how he acts and his ability to accept people when he isn't feeling grouchy. He is very Christian and doesn't agree with the "homosexual lifestyle" but I can accept that. He isn't attacking anyone and he doesn't treat me like a second rate citizen for being gay, he treats me like Travis. Well, actually he treats me like a boss more than he treats me like Travis, but still he sees through labels for who a person is and that's a quality I can respect.
Outside of the novelty of my sexuality, there have been a lot of politics involving gay people lately. Don't Ask Don't Tell being one of the issues being talked about at work. Oh boy you can totally guess at how uncomfortable that gets for me. Luckily I wasn't there at the time, but one employee came into the work place discussing his opinions on Don't Ask Don't Tell, Gay Marriage, and other rights that the GLBT community are working on. Simply put, he disagreed with giving them those rights and even suggested they not even have the right to vote. I was shocked to walk into some of these conversations. My supervisor put a stop to all of it and pulled me over to make sure I would be ok with working with that person because they knew gossip was going to splatter everywhere and I'd eventually hear about it. I appreciated the heads up for sure and it made it easier to work with the initial shock over and that person no where to be seen. I won't lie, a portion of me wants to stab his eyeballs with a pipe cleaner, but I learned a long time ago to turn the other cheek.
I went into work today in a decent mood. I managed to keep my aura on even through the silly actions of the employees. I was thinking to myself today, what can I do to make this better for me? But then I realized I'm pretty much fine, it's not like I'm REALLY suffering. But then I thought, what about other people? Then I started thinking about the Trevor Project and it's very recent campaign "It Gets Better". I've pretty much decided I would like to get more involved in this in some way. I would like to do some things on a more personal scale. It's not something huge but at least I can help kids out in my community.
Thinking further into this I started thinking about one of my ex-boyfriends. He now has HIV and he got it from this guy I will not share my personal opinions on at this time. My ex and I are fairly close friends, he's probably one of my best. I talk to him basically every day. I try to support him however I can so I would like to look into some HIV Organizations in the area. I will be spending some of my time on my next days off searching for different gay activities and HIV groups in my community. I should probably talk to Sean about it a little.
I am also thinking of picking up a cheap video camera that can also record sound so I can make YouTube videos based on some of my activities and thoughts.
I suppose this is enough for a first post. My later ones may not be as large, but I plan to keep everything up to do with all my activities, gay and non-gay oriented.
Eye of the Storm
Erevan's Secret Hideout
- Another New Start