redeyes

Eye of the Storm

Erevan's Secret Hideout

Another New Start
coo2
tkarlan
Well I haven't been on here in a good bit. I seem to start and stop a lot but I've been inspired, yet again, to start keeping a journal. The reasoning behind my inevitable return was some things that have been happening at work that I felt a need to write about and gain some clarity on the situations. Maybe some others would be able to learn from what I'm experiencing as well?

Anyhow, here's the gist of what's been going on. At work my sexuality has practically become a novelty. That's MUCH better than where I was in High School, but it's still not quite where I'd like to be. Being known as "the gay guy" is not my goal. There are many constant jokes I must suffer through on a daily basis. Some are simple and harmless, others make me feel like a total joke and less of a person. A lot of the time they make out since I'm gay I must want to drop to my knees for anything with a penis, it's rather insulting. I've also had comments about someone that's underage or something like that. Luckily I had someone speak up on that portion "He's gay, not a helophile". I high fived her for knowing what a helophile was. The thing is I would personally like to be viewed as an individual more than the gay guy of a group. I have been lucky enough to find some people that have treated me with that respect. One being the awesome night shift cook. He is all kinds of special in how he acts and his ability to accept people when he isn't feeling grouchy. He is very Christian and doesn't agree with the "homosexual lifestyle" but I can accept that. He isn't attacking anyone and he doesn't treat me like a second rate citizen for being gay, he treats me like Travis. Well, actually he treats me like a boss more than he treats me like Travis, but still he sees through labels for who a person is and that's a quality I can respect.

Outside of the novelty of my sexuality, there have been a lot of politics involving gay people lately. Don't Ask Don't Tell being one of the issues being talked about at work. Oh boy you can totally guess at how uncomfortable that gets for me. Luckily I wasn't there at the time, but one employee came into the work place discussing his opinions on Don't Ask Don't Tell, Gay Marriage, and other rights that the GLBT community are working on. Simply put, he disagreed with giving them those rights and even suggested they not even have the right to vote. I was shocked to walk into some of these conversations. My supervisor put a stop to all of it and pulled me over to make sure I would be ok with working with that person because they knew gossip was going to splatter everywhere and I'd eventually hear about it. I appreciated the heads up for sure and it made it easier to work with the initial shock over and that person no where to be seen. I won't lie, a portion of me wants to stab his eyeballs with a pipe cleaner, but I learned a long time ago to turn the other cheek.

I went into work today in a decent mood. I managed to keep my aura on even through the silly actions of the employees. I was thinking to myself today, what can I do to make this better for me? But then I realized I'm pretty much fine, it's not like I'm REALLY suffering. But then I thought, what about other people? Then I started thinking about the Trevor Project and it's very recent campaign "It Gets Better". I've pretty much decided I would like to get more involved in this in some way. I would like to do some things on a more personal scale. It's not something huge but at least I can help kids out in my community.

Thinking further into this I started thinking about one of my ex-boyfriends. He now has HIV and he got it from this guy I will not share my personal opinions on at this time. My ex and I are fairly close friends, he's probably one of my best. I talk to him basically every day. I try to support him however I can so I would like to look into some HIV Organizations in the area. I will be spending some of my time on my next days off searching for different gay activities and HIV groups in my community. I should probably talk to Sean about it a little.

I am also thinking of picking up a cheap video camera that can also record sound so I can make YouTube videos based on some of my activities and thoughts.

I suppose this is enough for a first post. My later ones may not be as large, but I plan to keep everything up to do with all my activities, gay and non-gay oriented.

Pokemon Diamond - Friend Code
redeyes
tkarlan
Hey guys, I know I've been away for a long while, I've had a lot going on. My grandfather passed away, relationship things happened, little complications here or there, my uncle just recently passed away..lots of other stuff I can't think of. I've just been dealing with a lot.

But anyway I came here to post my Friends code cause I know a few people on here added me from Pokemon related, hopefully they still have me on their friends. x_X

My character's name is Hazel and the code is:
5240 8479 8683

Please let me know if you add me and let me know your Friend Code so I can add you too.

Who's Brutish? Wrestlers? Or Wrestling Fans?
redeyes
tkarlan
I hear a lot of people talking about how barbaric or stupid or fake or whatever Professional Wrestling is. You often see them placing wrestlers in the major stupidity area of the world but where do they get this from?

Chances are people that make this judgement never really watched wrestling at all, they just hear about it from some of the major populace of fans. So here's where we stand, what's the answer? What's this about wrestling being absolutely fake? What about the stupidity of all these wrestlers? Well guess what? I'm here to answer you!

The truth is yes..some wrestlers are flat out stupid..but only some. Many of these wrestlers went to college, majored in some really useful skills that they showed interest in, but to them their profession was going to be wrestling reguardless. It's kinda like a person going to art class to paint but then going off to design toys. You enjoy both, you just can't really find something with a degree for one of them.

Wrestling is fake, to an extent, I will tell you that's for sure. To make it known to a lot of the people who claim things a certain way, just because they like one better..Mexican wrestling is just as fake as American wrestling. The results are fixed, they just are. What's not fake about wrestling is the work these people put into it. The muscles they have aren't inflatable, the flips, twists, turns, rolls, and all those moves they do are very real, they aren't computer simulated or anything. America's wrestling has it's style, Mexico's wrestling has it's style. About the only wrestling I can say is real would be Japanese Wrestling mostly..they actually beat the crap out of each other there, the fans want blood there. The same can be said for ECW's fans. This leads to the question, who's the brute? The people that enjoy the styles of the wrestlers such as Rey Mysterio? Or the people that enjoy the blood spilling out of these people because that's the only way it's "real"?

I'll leave that judgement to you, but please, before you make the judgement that wrestling is for brutes and it's fake..rethink where you stand on real violence, which includes martial arts tournaments, because they're just the same, they are no better just because they're disciplines that take years to learn. Fighting is fighting.

On the world of Black and White
redeyes
tkarlan
Ok here lately I've been watching a show Black. White. and well, it's inspired me to write on the topic of Black and White, races, the differences of, the segregation of, and everything in between. But before I start I will like to inform you that I in no way feel that anyone is less or more because of their skin, I feel that no one has to act any specific way just because of their skin, and I feel it's wrong to make a decision on any topic of anyone just because of their skin. Racism disgusts me greatly, and this is why I want to write this.

To start off on the most common things is on the topics of slavery and the prejudices of the past, that blacks should not be able to get the benefits as whites, and that they should not be able to go to the same schools, bathrooms, resteraunts, etc. SCREW IT. Forget it, I'm not discussing the past. It was rough times, but it is not today. Forget about the things that happened back then when you read this, and think about today and ONLY today. It is past TIME to FORGIVE the past crimes committed, especially since the past criminals are long dead. Do not truely forget for fear of the past being repeated in some form, not necessarily white to black, maybe black to white, or even black to mexican or white to hindu. But do not hold such actions against the people of today because the people of today were not people of the yester. We are all individuals of today, and it is not our fault of what our families committed back then.

Now comes the truth. To some families their children need to act black, to others their children need to act white, the middle some need to act both, the problem is how does one act black or white? How does one act a color of skin? The answer would be one doesn't. There are cultures and upbringings of areas but none of it lies in genes or skin color. A person is an individual and we all deserve that individual respect. I realize there are a lot of people in a majority that act a certain way, and yes they have that certain skin color, but you will find others that act opposite ways than that. Does that mean they aren't true to their skin color? No it doesn't, because skin color is just that, skin color. We are all humans here and the only differences we allow to be there are from our upbringings. Please understand that just because you're white does not mean you have to listen to country music, please understand that just because you're black does not mean you have to listen to jazz or rap, please understand that just because you're white it doesn't mean you can't be a rapper, please understand that just because you're black it does not mean you can't join in the line dancing. There are no topics that a single person can't touch, unless they stop themselves from touching it. Don't hold yourself back because of your skin color and don't try to hold others back because of theirs, make your way through because you are human, we are all human, we are the same, even though we don't look it. The power we have to make ourselves unique is used a lot, but unfortunately it's used in negative ways. We are not unique because of the way we look, we are not unique because of our skin color, our eye color, our hair color. These things are easilly changed, hair you just use dye, eyes use a contact, skin you can use body spray, or even look at Micheal Jackson and his sister. It is not impossible to change these things, therefore they should not hold limitations on us. The truth is we are unique because of our spirits, our souls, our ambitions, our hearts. We are the same, there is no acting black or acting white, there is only acting as yourself, and you are not your skin, your skin is only a part of you.

As for those of racist nature, or those who feel they have been prejudiced against, or maybe even those accused of being racist but feel they are not. Watch yourself on this. There is one thing that you should catch yourself on in this area. If you at all find yourself say that a racial group, white, black, mexican, or any of it, act a certain way, rethink this. Remember, we are all individuals and a race is not limitted to a certain action in a certain situation. The truth is no race acts a certain way, as stated before, and before you go off and say this is crap think of this. You've only experienced a race in your area, correct? Have you thought maybe it's the neighborhood that was raised that way? Not the race? The truth is, yes it's the family and the neighborhood that usually brings out the actions, interests, and personalities in a person. It is not their skin color, trust me on this it is not their skin color.

I have seen many, I have watched the struggles, the want to understand. It is not easy to just accept the things I say and I know, this is where it is up for those of us who do understand what I say to nurture and accept the way some people feel, as long as no one is harmed. For through this acceptance there is actually hope, the hope that those who prejudice against innocents will see your acceptance and warmth and come to it. Through our acceptance and care they can change. A kind nature can help calm the most hateful of creatures, why can't it help for racism?

For those who still aren't convinced, as you've had your experiences, please take these things into consideration. Have you ever experienced a white man who turned his nose up to you, turned his back on you, and didn't give you the light of day? Do you think it's because white people are just snotty like that? How about that it's just him and those he associates with, maybe the neighborhood you live in, are just snotty like that? Or for the other corner, have you ever seen a black boy who treated you like garbage, made you feel like you shouldn't be where you live because it's the "ghetto", maybe he even shot out insults about your mama? Do you think all black people are just like this? Or maybe it's just because of the neighborhood you live in?

I have met people who do not act like this, and they would understand what I say. It's because of these people that I lost my racist ways. I was once someone who looked poorly upon black people and I feel ashamed for it, but today I know the right path. The right path is to understand each soul, each body, is his or her own person. We each make our own choices, we are ourselves. We are us, we are the same, but we are different in our heart. Our bodies will be gone, in which our skin will no longer exist, and what is left? What's left is our soul. For those who don't believe in souls, I appologize, I do and have no idea how else to explain this, but our personality is what is remembered most, not our skin.

This is how things are, this is the one truth. We are not our skin, our skin is just a part of us.

Okay Wow
etna eat
tkarlan
It's been a long time since I've been here. I figure since like a ton of things have happened and a lot's gone by I'm just going to restart everything fresh. I'm not gonna delete the old things, not even going to BOTHER with the past. This thing won't be friends only anymore. People can say what they want but, lol, I'm not gonna worry about internet drama.

I've got my life to live, you've got yours, not my fault you spend it on the net whining you know? lol

Anyway here I am, I'll update on occassion, probably just use it to express my opinions on life now when the want strikes me.

For now I'm going to watch tv and probably play Dungeons and Dragons on-line. Take care :)

Hmm
redeyes
tkarlan
Been doing a lot of thinking, about people.

I've come to realize I don't like people who think being cruel is funny or cool or good..

Recent events showed someone's true colors.

I kinda find them extremely immature, especially for their age.

They're older than me btw.

I won't call names to lack embarrassment..

But yes..I think they're immature and I don't think I really like them now. I'm sorry to say it, but I just don't like those types of people. What's to stop them from turning on me one day?

Days Like These
redeyes
tkarlan
Hey Guys, check these people out. They're pretty cool. They actually talk to their fans, unlike some groups who get egoes way too quickly. I've been talking to Rusty some(I'm sure he's getting pounded by a ton of messages right now, sorry Rusty!). They're a pretty cool bunch to repeat.

I like their song Somehow Saturn. If you like them spread the word, if you don't, don't hate, show love and say good work anyway. Just because it's not your style of music doesn't mean it's a bad thing. :P lol

Here's their MySpaceMusic link

http://www.myspace.com/dayslikethese

Check'em oooooout.

The Passing of Eddie Guerrero - Continued
redeyes
tkarlan
They've found out Eddie's cause of death. It was Massive Heart Failure caused by his past. He possibly used to take steroids, but that's uncertain. He did do illegal drugs in the past but he had sobered. However he possibly took many pain killers in his past and his heart didn't recover enough to be able to take the work outs and tests he put his body through to stay healthy, not was it able to handle the schedule the WWE had him on.

It's said that Eddie was just brushing his teeth and became very tired, fell over on the floor into a deep sleep untill his heart stopped. He more than likely felt no pain what-so-ever.

From what resources say he probably didn't take steroids. If he did, they were a long time ago and not much at all.

The Passing of Eddie Guerrero
redeyes
tkarlan
This morning Eddie Guerrero was found dead in his hotel room by his nephew and fellow wrestler Chavo Guerrero. He was found laying on the floor, toothbrush in mouth, no movement. Chavo proceeded to check if he were ok, turned him over, and found no life signs. He called 911, tried CPR, and still nothing. He was then proclaimed dead.

Eddie Guerrero was born into a family of wrestlers, so naturally he became one himself. He had perfected the leg drop by age three, and became fully pro around ages 18 and 20. He joined the WWE around the year 2000 and has been, even before then, one of the greatest wrestlers this lifetime has seen.

For more information on Eddie Guerrero's passing, and his wrestling history, please visit www.wwe.com and click on the news stories, or check under the Smackdown Roster.

Eddie, you will be missed. Viva la Raza. Viva la Guerrero.

Your Fan,
Travis Overstreet

The stuff
redeyes
tkarlan
Well guys I've been busy but not too busy. I've been taking a break but that doesn't remove the stress. Nor does calming down, life still moves whether you stop or not. Bills are cutting close cause I got a little clumsy but that's ok, I'm not down and out yet. I dropped Final Fantasy XI which I know none of you knew I played, and I've only got six more payments on my laptop. Then it's mine.

The move is over of course and I've got some sorting to do still, it always takes me a while to get settled in. I've still got the same crappy job but it's giving me money to pay bills so I best not complain. I've grown up a lot I think, which is cool, still got a lot of growing to do though. I've pin pointed a lot of insecurities in life that I have, and I'm trying to fight them. Some of kicked my ass lately but some of you have had that worse than me so I'm not complaining there either. I'm fine all in all because I know I can stand on my own two feet. And I have the blessing of having Jase by my side when I need him.

I've delved more into my own theories of Christianity, and I feel I'm right, however I will not push it on anyone like usual(meaning I never have pushed religion on anyone). I will however share my opinions if opinions are shared to me, so if you don't like that you're obviously a hypocrit and not worth my time. Yes as you can see my back bone's grown as well. I care little for what people think about me anymore and nor should I care. I also don't put up with this "I did something naughty, I'm so stupid" emo crap either. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel guilt but you have to pick yourself up and move on, there's no room for weakness in life today if you always need someone patting your shoulder for you, gotta pick yourself up sometimes you know? Don't get me wrong, I'm there for people, but once I help you to help yourself you're gonna have to do just that..help yourself. This is a practice to protect myself from getting totally used, which will not happen again mind you. This includes those of you in relationships where one person is totaly controlling and won't let you watch certain tv shows or play certain games because they don't like them or they're just too grown up for it. My first advice there is take a stand, if they keep pressuring, tell them if they don't stop and make comprimise instead of control then it's over, after that..if they continue..tell them it's over. If you want to complain about that behind the person's back more after not doing anything then you obviously can't be helped and shouldn't try to get people to sympathize for you. Guys learn to take care of yourselves and not rely on others to do it for you.

Well there's more than can be said but..it won't be. I've got other things to do right now, like finish this serious conversation I'm having with Jase right now.

Take Kare,
TK

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